# General > Literature >  Sonnets

## Gleber2

Haiku, with three lines, can be tricky but how would we cope with the strict rules of the fourteen line sonnet in Italian or Elizabethan style. Any takers???? There must be afficianados of this style of poetry which is my favorite poetic form. Let's see them!!! ::

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## Gleber2

This sonnet in the Shakespearian style is dedicated to my friends and protagonists, Gleeber and Golach.


On Hidden Knowledge.


In each man's life a time must surely come
When understanding shines like dawns clear light,
When answers come unbidden and the sum
Of mankind's hidden knowledge shines so bright.

To know the long lost secrets of the soul,
To find the key which unlocks nature's store,
To earn this wisdom should be each man's goal,
And he who seeks will never ask for more.

Behind the mind where untold riches lie
Is where to seek if wisdom is desired.
There is no price, one only needs to try,
Remaining clear with raw ambition fired.

And then the doors will surely open wide,
But always will be closed if sought with pride.

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## trinkie

I did enjoy that.... Thank you.

'' A time must surely come ''  ??     I wonder,  I hope !

I think the secret to it all is   Patience.   Not easy but worth a try.

I will copy this off for my Book if I may please, and re-read it many times.

Trinkie

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## phoenix

Liked that Gleber2!  :Smile:

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## Sporran

Super sonnet, Gleber2!  ::

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## Gleber2

Are there no other writers of sonnets out there?? Please post if there are.
If there are sonnet hopefuls who know not the rules, tell me and I shall explain. :Grin:

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## trinkie

Yes,  Please explain  -  it looks too difficult. 

Are there many rules?   I cant stand rules, but I'm willing to have a go.

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## canuck

> Are there no other writers of sonnets out there?? Please post if there are.
> If there are sonnet hopefuls who know not the rules, tell me and I shall explain.


Oh please explain.  Let's give it a go.  As my mother often says, "you can't learn any younger."  It has been 40 years since I even considered writing a sonnet.  I am sure that life experience has given me all kinds of subjects that I can now be passionate about.

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## Sporran

I might have a go too, G2. Why don't you post the rules here for everyone to see, eh?

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## Gleber2

> I might have a go too, G2. Why don't you post the rules here for everyone to see, eh?


There are several different type of sonnet, the Italian or Petrarchan, Elizabethan or Shakespearian and the Spencerian. In common is the number of lines ie 14. I will explain firstly the Elizabethan which is probably the simplest.
Fourteen lines arranged in three verses of four and the couplet at the end. The rhyme scheme is AB AB CD CD EF EF GG. The couplet is supposed to be the sting in the tail that can reverse the whole meaning of the poem.
Each line is Iambic Pentameter which means that it should scan di daa di daa di daa di daa di daa. Five feet.

I will cover the other forms when this one produces results.

The poem I posted at the beginning of the thread follows these rules. (I hope).

Bon Chance!!!!!!!

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## Saveman

OK, here we go........if I've got it all wrong then please correct me....


On What the Future May Bring.


When that bright day had dawned upon the Earth,
And green the grass had grown in all the fields,
I stepped out in the dew and seen the birth,
for more than day that morn had been revealed.

The birth of day was not the only thing,
I seen that shook me to my very bones,
In this fair country that once had sea kings,
I realized I had now been left alone.

Gone were all the buzzing things and winged
Gone were the cows and sheep of days gone by,
All the insects and sweet bees had springed
Into the great big meadow in the sky.

Radiation cannot harm us they said,
I cant tell them theyre wrong when I am dead.

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## Gleber2

Very commendable first effort Mr Saveman. 'Springed' was almost unforgivable and some of the feet debatable but all in all IMHO a darn good first. BTWE seen should be saw, n'est ce pas?

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## Sporran

Saveman, I'm very impressed with your first sonnet - well done!!  ::  

Write some more, s'il vous plait....

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## scotsboy

Awoken by a foreign sound
In a room that was strange to my waking eyes
As I stared, wondering what was all around
I remembered where, it was no surprise

Under the shower to freshen my day
Washing away the dreams of the night
Remembering what was to come, what would I say?
Ill think of something, Ill get it right

Out in the sun, burning my skin
Sweat from the work as I toil in the heat
Why did I leave it so late to begin?
Should I give up, beat a hasty retreat?

Stay and finish what you started my friend
Itll soon be over; itll soon be the end.

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## Kenn

The Merry Maidens danced but dance no more.
The pipe has blown it's last.
Eight lichen covered stones above the shore
Swept by a salty blast.

But still they stand and seem to stare
And speak of things long past.
Can you hear the ancient music in the air?
Can you see them whirling fast?

Now bend your mind and with the dancers go,
Linking arms around the waist.
Feel the beat through your body flow,
To the dance make haste,make haste.

Turned to stone The Christians say
Those who dared to dance upon the Sabbath day.

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## Gleber2

On Sonnets.

The sonnet is a form with such strict laws,
That poets can sometimes become insane.
The finding of a rhyme, like clutching straws,
Can tend to overcome the fumbling brain.

From Petrarch, Shakespear, Milton, Spencer too,
Came the rules to which mere mortals cleave,
And, as mere mortals search for something new,
The magic of the words begin to weave.

As music soothes the soul of he who hears,
The sonnet soothes the mind of he who reads,
The rhythm of the lines so sparkling clear,
Can help each man to see where poets lead.

Or is this form, to you, a waste of time,
And never to be seen as joy sublime.

The number of feet per line is crucial and must be five ie Iambic pentameter.
Un-accented, accented five time. This is one of the most basic rules of sonnet writing and all of the contributions, although lovely poems in their own right, are not exactly sonnets.

I know, I'm a heartless pedant!!!!!! ::

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## roblovesplastic

what rules, wheres the sticky?

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## Gleber2

> what rules, wheres the sticky?


See post number 10.

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## roblovesplastic

> See post number 10.


 
just tell me or shut it

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## Gleber2

> just tell me or shut it


See post number 10 in this thread and you shut it. What do you call a drummer without a brain?

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## roblovesplastic

> See post number 10 in this thread and you shut it. What do you call a drummer without a brain?


 
dunno sounds like you might be banned

I AM A MOD!!!

look ya didnae shut it or explain o manny of the wordies

mon eh?

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## canuck

rob, we aren't supposed to argue with the teacher.  

Let's just sit in our desks and figure this out.  And remember you are miles ahead of me in this exercise cuz you have a sense of poetry.  My style is writing lab reports.  So, I am counting on you for inspiration.

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## roblovesplastic

> rob, we aren't supposed to argue with the teacher. 
> 
> Let's just sit in our desks and figure this out. And remember you are miles ahead of me in this exercise cuz you have a sense of poetry. My style is writing lab reports. So, I am counting on you for inspiration.


 
writing lab reports?

OH SOME NUTTER POSTING ON THE MUSIC FORUM

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## canuck

> There are several different type of sonnet, the Italian or Petrarchan, Elizabethan or Shakespearian and the Spencerian. In common is the number of lines ie 14. I will explain firstly the Elizabethan which is probably the simplest.
> Fourteen lines arranged in three verses of four and the couplet at the end. The rhyme scheme is AB AB CD CD EF EF DD. The couplet is supposed to be the sting in the tail that can reverse the whole meaning of the poem.
> Each line is Iambic Pentameter which means that it should scan di daa di daa di daa di daa di daa. Five feet.
> 
> I will cover the other forms when this one produces results.
> 
> The poem I posted at the beginning of the thread follows these rules. (I hope).


Here we go:

SOME ONE POSTING ON THE MUSIC FORUM

Has a passion for the beauty of dance

As to a nutter who writes laborum

Art tops science at each and ev'ry chance.



See, rob, how badly I need your help with this. I am hopeless.

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## Kenn

The meter's wrong the rhyme is bad
I've struggled through the night.
My heart is now so very sad
My grey hair turned to white!

All because a challenge thrown
To make a sonnet like of old.
Too many ideas now are sown
I've sat so long my feet grow cold.

Stubborn as the braying mule
I write,erase and write again
And now methinks I am a fool
To suffer all this mental pain.

Defeat is not a word I know
So pen in hand I onward go.

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## Gleber2

> What do you call a drummer without a brain?


Normal!!!!!!.

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## Gleber2

> The meter's wrong the rhyme is bad
> I've struggled through the night.
> My heart is now so very sad
> My grey hair turned to white!
> 
> All because a challenge thrown
> To make a sonnet like of old.
> Too many ideas now are sown
> I've sat so long my feet grow cold.
> ...


The rhyme is fine but not the metric length.   See? Iambic pentameter 5 feet.

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## Saveman

> Very commendable first effort Mr Saveman. 'Springed' was almost unforgivable and some of the feet debatable but all in all IMHO a darn good first. BTWE seen should be saw, n'est ce pas?



LOL  :: Yes....some very dodgy stuff going on in my sonnet, but thanks for the encouragement.......I'm actually looking forward to my next try... :Grin:

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## Saveman

OK, lets try this again.......tried to get the "feet" correct this time....not sure if I've managed it or not....


On A Face of Misery


Tonight I seen a grown man cry again,
His tears fell down upon an empty face,
He tried to hide from all the inner pain,
His efforts weak, aware of his disgrace.

What say thee friend, do you hear my heart beat?
A question asked to no one who would care.
He was aware the answer spells defeat.
But still he asked the question to the air.

Do you believe that I can make a change?
Can I become a person who can be?
His inner-self would try to rearrange 
The secret person of the heart to free.

And so I stare into this person's eyes
Theyre mine I see, Quick! Where is my disguise?

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## Gleber2

> OK, lets try this again.......tried to get the "feet" correct this time....not sure if I've managed it or not....
> 
> 
> On A Face of Misery
> 
> 
> Tonight I seen a grown man cry again,
> His tears fell down upon an empty face,
> He tried to hide from all the inner pain,
> ...


Good one. On first glance the metre is right although 'grown' could be one or two beats. Saw, not seen, is gramatically right and scans better.

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## Moira

Saveman

I've not studied the sonnet "thing" so have no idea if your "feet" were in the right place, but your "Face" was awesome.  Your post spoke to me & I applaud your effort.    

Gleber2 is keeping us all on track here which is excellent - just hope he doesn't go into the Haiku thread & rip my first effort to shreds  :Embarrassment:  

Well anyway - he was speaking to himself on here earlier - and strictly speaking his correction of your grammar was "spelted rong"  :Wink:

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## canuck

"Sir, Sir" (Canadian kid waving her arm frantically in the air), "Teacher, sir, Saveman stole my poem, at least what I wanted to say.  Now what do I do?"

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## Kenn

I've done me best,
I've tried,
But I am from 
the west
An' how I've cried
For me  the verse is all that counts
And may the Green Man smile.
For he and I have shared a while!

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## Gleber2

> Well anyway - he was speaking to himself on here earlier - and strictly speaking his correction of your grammar was "spelted rong"


Whit dae ye mean. I've gone through the thread an canna see whit ye mean. ::

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## Gleber2

> "Sir, Sir" (Canadian kid waving her arm frantically in the air), "Teacher, sir, Saveman stole my poem, at least what I wanted to say. Now what do I do?"


Be quiet, snivelling little girl.  Now learn the poem by Milton which begins:-

When I consider how my light is spent.

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## canuck

Professor, is this what you mean?

*Sonnet 19 (Sonnet XIX)
When I consider how my light is spent
John Milton

When I consider how my light is spent,
Ere half my days, in this dark world and wide,
And that one talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask; But patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best
Bear His mild yoke, they serve Him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at His bidding speed
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait."

Note
Many people refer to this poem as 'When I consider how my life is spent' however when Milton wrote this poem he was referring to his 
rapidly failing eyesight*

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## Gleber2

Yes. Also called 'On his Blindness'

This an example of the Petrarchan or Italian sonnet. Iambic pentameter again but with a rhyme scheme Abba,abba,cdecde. Italian has so many more rhyming words than English that the rhyme scheme was changed for English sonnets. This is an example of one kind of Petrarchan sonnet.. There are other rhyme schemes that can be used for the six line part but the first, 8 line part is always abbaabba.

Check Milton;On the Late Massacre in Peidmont.

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## canuck

I noticed the change in rhyming scheme. I figured that you would explain it when we were ready to hear it. Thanks.

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## canuck

*Sir, I get this one.  I even know about the Babylonians, cuz they were in my thesis.*

*Sonnet XVIII: On the Late Massacre in Piemont*



              1Avenge, O Lord, thy slaughter'd saints, whose bones
              2     Lie scatter'd on the Alpine mountains cold,
              3     Ev'n them who kept thy truth so pure of old,
              4     When all our fathers worshipp'd stocks and stones;
              5Forget not: in thy book record their groans
              6     Who were thy sheep and in their ancient fold
              7     Slain by the bloody Piemontese that roll'd
              8     Mother with infant down the rocks. Their moans
              9The vales redoubl'd to the hills, and they
            10     To Heav'n. Their martyr'd blood and ashes sow
            11     O'er all th' Italian fields where still doth sway
            12The triple tyrant; that from these may grow
            13     A hundred-fold, who having learnt thy way
            14Early may fly the Babylonian woe.

*Notes* 
1] The Waldensians or Vaudois were Protestants who had long lived in the territories of the Roman Catholic rulers of Piedmont, and were thought of by Protestants of Milton's day as having preserved a simple scriptural faith from earlier times. Confined by treaty to certain mountain valleys, they had gradually intruded into the plain of Piedmont. Ordered to retire, they had been pursued into the mountains and there massacred by the Piedmontese soldiery in April 1655. In documents penned by Milton as Latin secretary, Cromwell strongly protested against such treachery and cruelty. Later in the year, possibly after Morland returned with his report (see below, 7-8 note), Milton wrote his sonnet, first published in _Poems_, 1673.

3-4] This suggests Milton's acceptance of the idea of pure, unidolatrous worship preserved by the Vaudois from primitive times (see above, introductory note).

5] thy book refers to the books to be consulted at the Judgment (Revelation 20:12).

7-8] The incident is narrated, with an accompanying plate, in the _History of the Evangelical Churches in the Valleys of Piedmont_ (1658), by Sir Samuel Morland, Cromwell's emissary, who may well have given Milton the details on his return.

9] redoubled: re-echoed.

10-14] The reader is expected to remember Tertullian's famous phrase, "The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the Church" and the parable of the sower (Matthew 13:3-9) where the seed that fell on good ground brought forth as much as a hundredfold. Such was to be the blood of these martyrs sown where the Pope (triple tyrant in his mitre with its three crowns) still rules: It was to make converts who, having learned God's truth, would renounce the idolatry of Rome (figured, as Protestants believed, by the Babylon of Revelation 16:19, etc.) and thus escape the woe of God's punishment upon it.

Online text copyright © 2005, Ian Lancashire for the Department of English, University of Toronto.
Published by the Web Development Group, Information Technology Services, University of Toronto Libraries.

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## Gleber2

Note that in this second example of the Petrarchan sonnet, Milton has changed the rhyme scheme of the second, six line stanza. Now it is CD CD CD instead of cdecde.

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## Gleber2

This sonnet also dedicated to Gleeber and Golach.

On Hubris.

Is honesty a thing no longer sought,
By man who sets himself above the Gods,
And cares no more if evil is abroad,
But only strives for that which may be bought.
The snares in which mankind has now been caught,
Are snares of steel which tie them to the fraud,
That man, creations crown, must bear the load,
Must pay the price that Godhood be man's lot.

But Hubris is a crime no God forgives,
And man to God a step no mortal takes,
Unless the truth, in honour, has been found,
The light will be denied to all who live 
And cannot see the errors and mistakes,
That tie all God's poor creatures to the ground.

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## canuck

We are fortunate to have such a very talented teacher!

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## canuck

> This sonnet in the Shakespearian style is dedicated to my friends and protagonists, Gleeber and Golach.
> 
> 
> On Hidden Knowledge.
> 
> 
> In each man's life a time must surely come
> When understanding shines like dawns clear light,
> When answers come unbidden and the sum
> ...


Sir, in the rhyming couplet can the rhyme be GG rather than DD, or were you doing something else with this poem?

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## Moira

> See post number 10 in this thread and you shut it. What do you call a drummer without a brain?





> Normal!!!!!!.





> Good one. On first glance the metre is right although 'grown' could be one or two beats. Saw, not seen, is gramatically right and scans better.


 
Firstly - See here is what I mean - you asked a question & answered it yourself .. mmm dodgy -

Secondly you spellded the gram ... er....... grammatically "thingy" rong - ok?  

I'm awful glad you didn't rip my Haiku to bits, all the same -do you want to go back & review your opinion in light of this post?

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## canuck

Green Hero

When spring comes creeping with its bud and bloom
The yard fills quickly with a sense of life
Warm rays and long hours push back deadly gloom
Green is the hero quelling winters strife.

Full leaves have more than just the shade to make
They gather light to energize the whole
And free the carbons from the air they take
To keep alive the plant which is their goal.

To break a stem and separate a leaf
May bring a death of plant and soul and heart.
To break a stem and cause a sudden grief
Will cause she, once precious, to be apart.

Those so broken may wilt and fade to coal
Or join their kind to find new worlds of soul.

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## Sporran

Canuck, your Green Hero sonnet is great!!  :Grin:

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## golach

> This sonnet also dedicated to Gleeber and Golach.
> 
> .


Just what is the point of this claptrap that you are posting on here, and dedicating to myself and gleeber.
I am not in the least interested in your rhyme, couplets or whatever.
Please desist, as its becoming a bore as far as I am concerned.

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## phoenix

Im gobsmacked by all the lovely poetry, its given me goose bumps and brought tears to my eyes!

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## Gleber2

> Saveman
> 
> I've not studied the sonnet "thing" so have no idea if your "feet" were in the right place, but your "Face" was awesome. Your post spoke to me & I applaud your effort. 
> 
> Gleber2 is keeping us all on track here which is excellent - just hope he doesn't go into the Haiku thread & rip my first effort to shreds 
> 
> Well anyway - he was speaking to himself on here earlier - and strictly speaking his correction of your grammar was "spelted rong"


Now I see your point and yes you were right to correct me. I answered myself because the drummer didn't because I suspect he expected me to say his name. ::

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## Gleber2

> Just what is the point of this claptrap that you are posting on here, and dedicating to myself and gleeber.
> I am not in the least interested in your rhyme, couplets or whatever.
> Please desist, as its becoming a bore as far as I am concerned.


Never, in the ten months I have been an orger, have you shown your true nature as well as you have done in this last post. I have considered many replies, even to the point of anticipating a ban, but instead I will let your post reply for me as all those who have a degree of poetic appreciation and understanding will see, at a glance, why you have earned the nickname Gollum among some org people. It can only be a bore if you read the posts. Do us all a favour and put me on your ignore list and then I will not bore you.

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## Gleber2

Teacher is proud of you. Have a gold star. BTW it is GG. Even the master is fallible.Is that spelt right or is it fallable. Anticipate your own mistakes and no-one can tell you that you're wrong. :Grin:

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## Saveman

> Good one. On first glance the metre is right although 'grown' could be one or two beats. Saw, not seen, is gramatically right and scans better.


Drat made the same mistake again....Saw not seen.....I think it's an Irish thing  :Wink:

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## Saveman

> This sonnet also dedicated to Gleeber and Golach.
> 
> On Hubris.
> 
> Is honesty a thing no longer sought,
> By man who sets himself above the Gods,
> And cares no more if evil is abroad,
> But only strives for that which may be bought.
> The snares in which mankind has now been caught,
> ...



Now this is more like it...

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## Saveman

> Green Hero
> 
> When spring comes creeping with its bud and bloom
> The yard fills quickly with a sense of life
> Warm rays and long hours push back deadly gloom
> Green is the hero quelling winters strife.
> 
> Full leaves have more than just the shade to make
> They gather light to energize the whole
> ...


Canuck! You're a natural....great stuff!  :Smile:

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## Moira

> Just what is the point of this claptrap that you are posting on here, and dedicating to myself and gleeber.
> I am not in the least interested in your rhyme, couplets or whatever.
> Please desist, as its becoming a bore as far as I am concerned.


Harsh words, indeed, about a sonnet
Don't know why there's a bee in your bonnet
If you don't like, don't look, is what I'd say
And let the rest of us here, enjoy the word "play"

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## Gleber2

> Harsh words, indeed, about a sonnet
> Don't know why there's a bee in your bonnet
> If you don't like, don't look, is what I'd say
> And let the rest of us here, enjoy the word "play"


Well said, dear lady, with no forked tongue
you speak what can only be true.
Philistines among us who know not the song
Can never make me blue.

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## golach

> Harsh words, indeed, about a sonnet
> Don't know why there's a bee in your bonnet
> If you don't like, don't look, is what I'd say
> And let the rest of us here, enjoy the word "play"


Moira,
I could not care about the sonnets, its the continual sniping and belittling of not only me but gleeber, I dont speak for Gleeber, only myself.
If gleber thinks it makes his sonnets more palatable to his ego, then so be it, I did not say to him stop his writting, but to desist in dedicating them to me.
Thats my bee in my bonnet!!!!!!!
On Hubris, maybe the man that wrote it should have a look in the mirror, because it may be the cause of his ruin.

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## scotsboy

Someone takes time to dedicate a sonnet to you and you feel belittled.Id feel quite honoured.

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## Gleber2

> Moira,
> I could not care about the sonnets, its the continual sniping and belittling of not only me but gleeber, I dont speak for Gleeber, only myself.
> If gleber thinks it makes his sonnets more palatable to his ego, then so be it, I did not say to him stop his writting, but to desist in dedicating them to me.
> Thats my bee in my bonnet!!!!!!!
> On Hubris, maybe the man that wrote it should have a look in the mirror, because it may be the cause of his ruin.


Have you no sense of humour man? I cannot, in any way, belittle a man who manages to belittle himself with every selfrighteous post. I can remember a particular Golach post where he spoke about affection and humour when both Gleeber and myself complained about his sly digs. Practice what you preach, Golach, and you might generate a bit more respect. This could well counter the paucity of soul, humour and understanding which you display with every complaining post. It is your ego which is the problem, not mine.

Scotsboy, thank you.

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## phoenix

Was on that day they tied me up
I heard the screams my children made
Long time ago in days gone by
I dont forget that day I died

By torch by flame they burned me
The next time round they broke me
With words that cut the snears they make
But I am stronger than they know

This time I will not let them crow
These words I block with armour shield
The thoughts they send to hurt and mame
Will not affect my family name

The light I send to those who hurt me
On that black day long time ago, they burnt me! 

Dont know if thats a sonnet or not or if it rhymes  :: ........just came into my head!  ::

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## trinkie

Pheonix ,  That was so moving.   really lovely,  thank you. 
I dont know if it was technically correct either  -  I am completely lost and confused in all of this  de da de da de da de da ,  but I am so enjoying it.
Now  -   On With the Show,  Gleber 2 ,   you were saying ?  something about Milton...
We are waiting,  please continue.

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## Gleber2

Phoenix, I won't rain on your past-life witches parade. As a poem it is lovely but it is not a sonnet. This of course does not matter. Quite a talent for Haiku and other forms you seem to be developing. Keep it up. I hope this post doesn't sound patronising. I am really enjoying watching the poems come together and hope that, sometime in the future, we can compile an Anthology of Org Poetry.

Canuck , in previous posts, gave us two of Milton's best known sonnets in a form that is much more difficult to write than the Elizabethan.

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## phoenix

> Phoenix, I won't rain on your past-life witches parade. As a poem it is lovely but it is not a sonnet. This of course does not matter. Quite a talent for Haiku and other forms you seem to be developing. Keep it up. I hope This post doesn't sound patronising. I am really enjoying watching the poems come together and hope that, sometime in the future, we can compile an Anthology of Org Poetry.
> 
> Canuck , in previous posts, gave us two of Milton's best known sonnets in a form that is much more difficult to write  than tha Elizabethan.



Thankyou Sir! My doctor did tell me years ago when the bairns were little Id be good at poetry, I thought he was mad! Its been locked away in a wee cupboard all this time waiting for someone to come along with a key.  :Smile:  BTW everytime I see you come in at my back after Ive posted something I shudder and think whats he going to say now, I slowly scroll down and look with one eye ......its worse than school!  ::  And its not my past-life Ive no fear of fire {although I do often get the smell of wood burning} must be somebody else out there or a memory floating around from the past! :}

Brilliant idea about the Anthology of Org poetry!

Forgot to say thanks Trinkie!:}

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## Sporran

Here's my first sonnet - I hope I got it right!  ::  


Summer's End 

As summer shines its last warmth upon us
We remember the happiness it brought
Days at the beach, carefree and fabulous
Sand castles, paddling and watching the yachts.

Now autumn's cool fingers wave to us all
Beckoning us to wear jacket or coat
The leaves will change colour, next they will fall
And Halloween guisers sweet treats will tote.

Snowy winter days follow at year's end
Pristine snowflakes fall like feathers from sky
The joy of Christmas, the parcels we send
Gifts tied with ribbon, toy, trinket or tie.

The new year dawns after the old one sets
For auld lang syne, a cup o' kindness yet!

----------


## Gleber2

Sporran, the length, the rhyme was fine but the meter(metre?) is a bit not right. Liked the sentiment. Remember, unaccented accented, five times.

----------


## Sporran

Glad you liked the sentiment, G2!  :Smile:  I thought that the ten syllables in each of my lines were the equivalent of five iambic feet. But evidently that is not the case, so I will keep on trying!

----------


## trinkie

Golden Glories
by Christina Rossetti

The buttercup is like a golden cup
The marigold is like a golden frill
The daisy with a golden eye looks up 
And golden spreads the flag beside the rill
And gay and golden nods the daffodil
The gorsy common swells a golden sea
The cowslip hangs a head of golden tips
And golden drips the honey which the bee
Sucks from sweet hearts of flowers and stores and sips.

I rather think this is not a Sonnet,  I think  it has the right meter but
no couplet.
Please can you explain the difference G2?

----------


## loo-b-loo

Surrounded by nature I look at the sea,
I feel the cold breeze, chilling my core,
Watching the waves, it always moves me,
The scene always changes, never like before.

As the tide comes in, and moves up the sand,
I walk slower so the sea splashes my feet,
I feel close to nature, part of the land,
No-one around, no-one to greet.

Another hour gone and still I cant leave,
No-one to see, alone on this land,
The sea gives me space, room to breath,
My tears can run down and melt in the sand.

Yet from the sea you gain new spirit, a new strength
To have it near you, youd go to any length.


Not sure if I stuck to the rules?

----------


## phoenix

Deep underground in Amethyst Cave 
There lives an Old Man who's set in his ways
He lives in the past much of the time
And never will listen to Old Father Time.

His day has come now, no more shall he reign
When the sun will eclipse on Amethyst Cave
The Moon she'll be new when all is revealed
And the Old Man shall die, end of his time.

Theres an Old Woman too who will not give in
But this time she will have to go with the sun
And when the Moons full and the New way has come
All will be happy with their new lives re-born.

The Old Ways must go now no more of the same
When changes they come they are born out of pain.

----------


## Kenn

Where Pentland's emerald waters swell,
Blue Orkney frames an azure sky,
A story weird I have to tell.
Did my dazzled eyes witness a lie?

Upon the dry stone wall a cat is dozing,
Butterflies like jewels flashing by,
Sweet honeyed clover perfume wafting 
As fulmars silent updraft lifted fly.

The camera's posed the shutter set to fast.
The moment captured like a passing dream.
The image trapped,for ever it will last
Though silenced is the falcon's scream.

Now the picture's processed, images unseen
Swirl wraith like 'cross the grass so green.

----------


## Gleber2

> Golden Glories
> by Christina Rossetti
> 
> The buttercup is like a golden cup
> The marigold is like a golden frill
> The daisy with a golden eye looks up 
> And golden spreads the flag beside the rill
> And gay and golden nods the daffodil
> The gorsy common swells a golden sea
> ...


This is not a sonnet although it has aspects in common with a sonnet. It has an ABABBCDCD and is in Iambic pentameter but it only has nine lines. I don't know the technical term for a nine line poem which is quite unusual.

----------


## Gleber2

All of the sonnets and attempted sonnets in this thread have been encouragingly good and some have been excellent. However, the biggest problem seems to be the Iambic pentameter.

Since there's    no hope   come let  us kiss   and part
  u       l           u    l          u    l     u    l      u     l


The u  is an unaccented sylable where as the l is accented.

 The second line of this sonnet is:

Nae I have done you get no more of me.  This line scans exactly like the first line  Each line must start with an unaccented sylable and end with an accented sylable.  Any other rhythm might be good poetry but not good sonnet.

----------


## Gleber2

> Where Pentland's emerald waters swell,
> Blue Orkney frames an azure sky,
> A story weird I have to tell.
> Did my dazzled eyes witness a lie?
> 
> Upon the dry stone wall a cat is dozing,
> Butterflies like jewels flashing by,
> Sweet honeyed clover perfume wafting 
> As fulmars silent updraft lifted fly.
> ...


 
I cannot tell what vision here was seen
What passing spirit lingered long enough
To be so clearly etched upon the screen
An image written clear in mist like fluff.

Now it could be a giant spectral owl
Perhaps the figure of an ancient God
With beak wide open just about to howl
In Egypt or on distant Andean sod.

Perhaps a flash of light accross the lens
Has caused the camera to record this sight
Thus says the sceptic Gleeber's Commonsense
And who can tell, the doubter could be right.

A flash of light, a spirit or a ghost
Who knows what lurks around the Caithness coast .

 Lizz, maybe you should post the image for all to see?

----------


## gleeber

Wow, what a thread. It must be one of the all time classic threads on
 Caithness.org. It had everything from birth to death with a bit of snarling thrown in for good measure. :: 
For some reason I dont allow myself to appreciate poetry but I can see how cool it is.

----------


## Kenn

Hey gleeber why don't you give this poetry a try? You are erudite enough and I am sure you have pen and paper.You have a keen eye for your surroundings and a more than whimsical attitude to life, you'd be a natural!

----------


## Kenn

Have posted the photo that sparked all the controversy onto the photo thread so you can all see what gleber2 and me are wittering on about.

----------


## canuck

I saw the photo last night and I think that my first response was the same as gleeber's.  But I am also prepared to accept that it was a ghost.

----------


## Saveman

On A Lasting Infatuation


Her voice so tender in the night of life,
Shines like the sun upon my darkened day,
I talk to her to feel the cold dark knife,
Of lonely days fade to gray, fly away.

Her hair is like the sun at dawn when storms,
Are coming to the land to soak the earth,
And like the healing that the rain performs,
My soul renews again in joyous birth.

Dont let me lose fair natures gift of song,
Or watch the distant clouds invade the sky,
Her life is precious and her heart is strong,
And in her smile away my troubles fly. 

Oh fair red blossom rose with petals fine,
What miracle could ever make you mine?

----------


## Gleber2

Fine stuff!!! The fourth line doesn't scan very well, days and fade both accented. Apart from that I really like this sonnet.

----------


## Gleber2

On Love.


When poets write of love, what do they mean,
This one small word can mean a million things,
From unrequited pain to wedding rings,
So many different things that come between.
To some the tree of love is evergreen,
The hearts of some who love forever sing,
And revel in the hope that true love brings,
Together, hand in hand, to live love's dream.


For some the path is dark and leads to pain,
Exquisite pain forever to be borne,
And in that hurt is nothing left to gain,
And he or she, once loved, becomes love's bane,
The line twixt hate and love forever torn,
And no-one in the end can take the blame.

----------


## Gleber2

On Love is the second Italian sonnet I have posted from my own collection. Are there no others trying this very difficult sonnet form. You will note that I have used two different rhyme schemes for the second, six line stanza.
Come on, give it a bash!!!!!

----------


## Sporran

> On Love is the second Italian sonnet I have posted from my own collection. Are there no others trying this very difficult sonnet form. You will note that I have used two different rhyme schemes for the second, six line stanza.
> Come on, give it a bash!!!!!


Gleber2, I love your "On Love" sonnet, it is brilliant! I have enjoyed all your sonnets - you are the Bard o' Dunnet Heid!  ::  

I will have a go at writing an Italian sonnet masel' , but it will take me a wee whilie to come up with something. Folks, here are the rules for Italian sonnets and other types.

----------


## Gleber2

> Gleber2, I love your "On Love" sonnet, it is brilliant! I have enjoyed all your sonnets - you are the Bard o' Dunnet Heid!  
> 
> I will have a go at writing an Italian sonnet masel' , but it will take me a wee whilie to come up with something. Folks, here are the rules for Italian sonnets and other types.


An excellent link which says it all. I love the sonnets of Drayton. Twas he who set me off.

----------


## canuck

> On Love is the second Italian sonnet I have posted from my own collection. Are there no others trying this very difficult sonnet form. You will note that I have used two different rhyme schemes for the second, six line stanza.
> Come on, give it a bash!!!!!


Be patient.  You have a collection.  We have to start from scratch.

I appreciate the link, but I  need confirmation from the person marking my project that I have the rhyme scheme to his liking.   So, we are after ABBA ABBA CDECDE?  

Trinkie, I think that we can do this!

----------


## Gleber2

> Be patient. You have a collection. We have to start from scratch.
> 
> I appreciate the link, but I need confirmation from the person marking my project that I have the rhyme scheme to his liking. So, we are after ABBA ABBA CDECDE? 
> 
> Trinkie, I think that we can do this!


Yes, one pattern among several and it will do for a start. I will have to start writing some new ones for you. Watch this space.

----------


## canuck

The Italian rhyme scheme is a bit of a challenge!
In my first attempt I discovered that it really doesn't lend itself to things Biblical. I decided that it must be a poetic form for expressing love and things romantic. So, in following the pattern set by Saveman in his excellent piece on Infatuation and teacher's own reflection on Love, I have written about my first born child whose birthday we celebrate next week. In my first line I have borrowed a few words from Saveman setting the tone of infatuation, growing into love and finally parenthood.

*A Birthday Approaches*

Friendship blessed with soul’s soft song to sing
Love flowing strong within the lives of two,
Motherhood its dance began gently, through
The days and nights of one unsuspecting.
At first it was a shock that God should spring
Life anew where one had not been planned,
But God does that within a scheme so grand
The season turns to time of nurturing.

The child-to-be brought joy to every heart.
Days grew long as due date passed us by.
Then came the rush of doctor, nurses, son.
The cries of life linger, the pains depart.
Now with the years the dance steps seem to fly.
Mother watches, an adult life begun.

----------


## trinkie

Some beautiful words here.   Well done everybody.

Canuck I love yours, it touched something in me, the mother part no doubt.    I hope your son has a great birthday next week.

I am finding it very difficult.  It is not coming naturally.

I'll have another go before 'going public'

Trinkie

----------


## Gleber2

> *A Birthday Approaches*
> 
> A friendship blessed with souls song to sing
> Love flowing strong within the lives of two,
> Motherhood its dance began gently, through
> The days and nights of one unsuspecting.
> At first it was a shock that God should spring
> A new life where one had not been planned,
> But God does that within a scheme so grand
> ...


A fair first, Canuck. The sentiment beautiful and the rhyme fine. However the metre is not always right. In line one 'souls' and 'song are accented which is not right. Insert 'soft' betwee the two words and the line then scans. Line six starts with an accent. 'Life anew' would scan. On first look that's all I would suggest. The are a couple of more clumsy lines which skirt the boundaries of Iambic pentameter but can't make up my mind if they are right or wrong. Keep up the good work!!!

On Family.

I walked so long alone throughout this life,
Until my son was born before my eyes,
And with his birth, for me and my dear wife,
Time was dictated by his infant cries.

And when two years had passed as if on wings,
My second son arrived to bless my home,
We had no time to waste on other things,
I had no longer a desire to roam.

My life was full. I could not ask for more,
But then the sweetest little girl was born,
Who stole my heart and taught me to adore,
And made me love the life I once had scorned.

My family now complete, I am content,
Regretting not the way my life was spent.

A father's sentiment in answer to your mother's feelings, Canuck

----------


## canuck

Thanks.  I've made the changes.

"On Familty" is real, so very real.

----------


## phoenix

> A fair first, Canuck. The sentiment beautiful and the rhyme fine. However the metre is not always right. In line one 'souls' and 'song are accented which is not right. Insert 'soft' betwee the two words and the line then scans. Line six starts with an accent. 'Life anew' would scan. On first look that's all I would suggest. The are a couple of more clumsy lines which skirt the boundaries of Iambic pentameter but can't make up my mind if they are right or wrong. Keep up the good work!!!
> 
> On Family.
> 
> I walked so long alone throughout this life,
> Until my son was born before my eyes,
> And with his birth, for me and my dear wife,
> Time was dictated by his infant cries.
> 
> ...



Nice one Gleber2! Liked that very much!

----------


## Sporran

Canuck and Gleber2, your latest heartfelt sonnets are beautiful!  :Grin:

----------


## Saveman

On A Departure


I owned a boat of silver blue with sail,
Around the bay in freshening winds to go,
And when the sky was dark and wind would blow,
Alive Id feel and live inside the gale,
Inspired Id feel and want to tell the tale,
Of all the wonders that my eyes could know,
Of secrets held in darkening nights below,
The stars of heaven and the moon so pale.

Till then one night when wind was but a sigh,
The sail it left me, drifting to a stand,
I cast my eyes to heaven way up high,
And saw a shooting star against the sky,
As if by winds in space propelled and fanned,
I left my boat behind and said goodbye

----------


## Gleber2

Nice one Saveman.!! :Grin:

----------


## Saveman

Thank you......it's a different discipline for that one, a very interesting exercise, thanks for introducing it to me!

----------


## canuck

You have mastered it well.   The poem is beautiful.

----------


## Gleber2

> Thank you......it's a different discipline for that one, a very interesting exercise, thanks for introducing it to me!


Try the alternative rhyme scheme for your next one. See the earlier post about sonnets from Sporran. There are several alternatives.

----------


## Sporran

Saveman, your sonnet is superb! Well done!  :Grin:

----------


## Kenn

I sat and gazed across the stormy bay,
The sea so angry shakes it's spumey mane,
The wind so cold it seems to pierce my brain.
My face and hands turned raw by salty spray.
The lowering clouds now turn to shades of grey
And as the darkness falls my eyes I strain
To pierce the growing darkness all in vain,
For night has come and driven off the day.

Now nothing can I see but still I hear
The thundrous roar of surf upon the sand,
The of piping call of seabirds as they sheer
Along the cliffs , above the waves they veer.
And with them now I soar above the land.
Spirit freed,no more the night I'll fear.





Ok .ok gleber2 I just know you are about to make mince meat of this!

----------


## Gleber2

Excellent, Lizz. Naught but praise and nary a criticism. Keep it up and try the alternative rhyme schemes.

----------


## Saveman

Sporran, thank you for your constant encouragement! 
Lizz, great stuff, very atmospheric I love it!

 :Grin:

----------


## Kenn

Have been writing poetry since I was about 12 yrs old..being Kernewek/Cornish tae ye sawsenaks= sassenachs, I can only conclude as has Professor Sykes that it is someting in  the genes ..not done a DNA test but suspect from the genealogy that I have researched that I am more Celt that anything else.
Celts are close to the ground and the rule of 3 in paramount in our lives. we have a dark side but also find joy in the everyday things that make life so special.
Praise indeed gleber2..I am searching for a poem I wrote some time ago and when I find it I will throw down the gauntlet!

----------


## Ann

I think it is time we produced an anthology of orger poetry! Many thanks to all who are busy writing and producing some great stuff; well done!

----------


## Kingetter

> I think it is time we produced an anthology of orger poetry! Many thanks to all who are busy writing and producing some great stuff; well done!


I quite agree Ann - http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=13439

But, I'm not sure we have a really well-balanced stock yet.  It is something that needs to be worked towards.  
As a certain season approaches (the 'C' word), it might have been nice to produce something with that as a central theme, but perhaps it might be too 'controversial' a topic in these PC days?

----------


## Gleber2

> I quite agree Ann - http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=13439
> 
> But, I'm not sure we have a really well-balanced stock yet. It is something that needs to be worked towards. 
> As a certain season approaches (the 'C' word), it might have been nice to produce something with that as a central theme, but perhaps it might be too 'controversial' a topic in these PC days?


Welcome back Kingetter.
Your original idea was, I believe, for an anthology of stories. Perhaps the poetry anthology could be part of the same book but could call for a second.

----------


## golach

> Have been writing poetry since I was about 12 yrs old..being Kernewek/Cornish tae ye sawsenaks= sassenachs, I can only conclude as has Professor Sykes that it is someting in the genes ..not done a DNA test but suspect from the genealogy that I have researched that I am more Celt that anything else.
> Celts are close to the ground and the rule of 3 in paramount in our lives. we have a dark side but also find joy in the everyday things that make life so special.
> Praise indeed gleber2..I am searching for a poem I wrote some time ago and when I find it I will throw down the gauntlet!


Lizz a wee point Caithness is not a Sassenach County it is more Viking than Saxon 
*DSL - SND1*  *SASSENACH*, _adj_., _n_. Also _Sassanoch_, _-enagh_, _Sasennach_, _-unnach_; the form in the 1706 quot. represents the Gael.pl. _Sasunnaich_. English, English-speaking, formerly also applied to the Lowlanders of Scotland; as a _n_., an Englishman or -woman. The word was orig. put in the mouths only of Highlanders but is now in somewhat jocular use throughout Scotland. [ˈsɑsənəx] 
**Sc.* *1706* _Letters from E.C. to E.W. Concerning the Union_ 6: 
    We call them _Sassanich_, in Latin _Saxi_ or _Saxoni_. 
Not even a Teuchter county lol
*DSL - SND1*  *TEUCHTER*, _n_. A term of disparagement or contempt used in Central Scotland for a Highlander, esp. one speaking Gaelic, or anyone from the North, an uncouth, countrified person (Cai., e. and wm.Sc. 1972), jocularly also applied to animals. Also _attrib_. [ˈtjuxtər] 
**Edb.* *1940* R. Garioch _17 Poems for 6d._ 13: 
    Thir a glaikit pair o Teuchters, an as Heilant as a peat. 
I like this description

----------


## Kingetter

> Welcome back Kingetter.
> Your original idea was, I believe, for an anthology of stories. Perhaps the poetry anthology could be part of the same book but could call for a second.


Hullo there.  No, I did not stipulate stories only, I'd want to see poetry included, but stories and poetry are only two of the genres of writing. There are others that as yet haven't 'reached the pages' of the forum, which is why I'm not sure we have 'the balance' yet.

----------


## Gleber2

> Hullo there. No, I did not stipulate stories only, I'd want to see poetry included, but stories and poetry are only two of the genres of writing. There are others that as yet haven't 'reached the pages' of the forum, which is why I'm not sure we have 'the balance' yet.


Point taken. Let us see your further ideas. :Smile:

----------


## Kenn

Thanks for the lesson golach but you missed the point!
I was merely using the word for non gaelic speakers in my native language and indicated that the equivalent would be the word sassenach, your posting would confirm that.
I did not put any other inference to it.

----------


## golach

> Thanks for the lesson golach but you missed the point!
> I was merely using the word for non gaelic speakers in my native language and indicated that the equivalent would be the word sassenach, your posting would confirm that.
> I did not put any other inference to it.


I knew you would have a question for me My Owld Tiddy Oggie, so I tried to get the answer in first lol

----------


## Gleber2

On Love.


When poets write of love, what do they mean,
This one small word can mean a million things,
From unrequited love to wedding rings,
So many different states that lie between
To some the tree of life is evergreen,
The hearts of some who love forever sing,
And revel in the hope that true love brings,
Together, hand in hand, to live love's dream.


For some the path is dark and leads to pain,
Exquisite pain forever to be bourne,
And in that hurt there's nothing left to gain,
And he or she, once loved, becomes love's bane,
The line twixt love and hate forever torn,
And no-one, in the end, can take the blame.

----------


## Gleber2

Where have all the sonnet writers gone?

----------


## Sporran

I haven't had time to work on another attempt yet, Gleber2. Might still come up with one eventually, though!

----------


## pultneytooner

No ceiling here; the pure high air is sweet,
Glide silently through clouds without a sigh,
A voice that cries and wings that fiercely beat,
You cannot hope to know until you try,

Vanish in rising wind, all sorrows past,
Never give in to fate; don't compromise,
Better to flee your home than be outcast,
The life before you is your paradise,

Rise from your bed, worn body, and frayed skin,
The crumbs of love locked in a gilded cage,
Now leave behind a life that's closing in,
The crumbs of love locked in a gilded cage,

Far over misty mountain peaks snow-white,
On swift storm winds soar jubilant in flight.

----------


## Gleber2

Excellent in all respects but one. In the second quatrain the metre is reversed with the accent falling on "van" in "vanish".The other ten lines start with an unaccented syllable. Most promising!!!!

----------


## Sporran

Today is one of my two days off work, so I've managed to find time to attempt another sonnet. I've probably still not got it quite right, but nothing ventured, nothing gained!!



Autumn days are here again, winds do blow
And leaves now fall from trees to waiting ground
Dried up, crisp feel, crunching, crackling below
Footsteps abound, imparting rustling sound.

Days are shorter, nights are longer once more
Fireside warming, welcoming flames of heat
Cosy are we, away from draught of door
Sipping warm drink, curled up in fav'rite seat.

Children guising, begging from door to door
Singing, rhyming, hoping for sweets or fruit
Dressed up ghostly, monsters, goblins and more
Gleeful, tireless, toting their treasured loot.

Soon autumn's days will give way to white snow
Winter's cool magic, and tree lights aglow!

----------


## pultneytooner

> Excellent in all respects but one. In the second quatrain the metre is reversed with the accent falling on "van" in "vanish".The other ten lines start with an unaccented syllable. Most promising!!!!


Thanks gleber2, I'll try again sometime but these syllables are giving me a headache. :Grin:

----------


## Saveman

On Society's Ills

As we grow up from children and are taught,
The rights and wrongs of life that we decide,
Our parents are the guides of our free thought,
And help us to steer well through this rough ride.

But as we grow to adults who will then,
Be there to show us how to make them proud?
In this dark world on whom will we depend?
To light the way to freedom from the shroud.

Success does not arrive on others wings,
And freedom lives up high above all pain,
If were to climb the mountain to these things,
Then lines we set and never cross again.

But whose lines do we choose to set in stone?
Is it the morals of this world alone?

----------


## Gleber2

Absolutely superb!!! Thank you.

----------


## Sporran

And thankyou from me too, Saveman! Your sonnet is brilliant!  ::

----------


## Saveman

You are both very welcome. Thank you for your kind comments.

I'd like to see more of your work Sporran and Gleber2......and anyone else who wants to join in.....

----------


## trinkie

Quite lovely !      Well done clever you.
May I add that to my collection please?

Regards
Trinkie

----------


## Gleber2

On Future Time.

What does the future hold for all mankind,
Assuming that a future still remains,
And as the years roll by what will we find,
For us the ways of war are deep ingrained.

In every corner of Earth's blighted lands,
The violent ways of man still lead to death,
Tis said our future lies in our own hands,
Will it be long before man's final breath.

If we could change the way we live this life,
We could perhaps create a future world,
Where man could live in love instead of strife,
Where flags of war need never be unfurled.

Yet hope eternal springs in this man's breast,
The hope that we can pass the final test.


2003

----------


## Saveman

> Quite lovely !      Well done clever you.
> May I add that to my collection please?
> 
> Regards
> Trinkie


Please do!  :Smile:

----------


## Saveman

> On Future Time.
> 
> What does the future hold for all mankind,
> Assuming that a future still remains,
> And as the years roll by what will we find,
> For us the ways of war are deep ingrained.
> 
> In every corner of Earth's blighted lands,
> The violent ways of man still lead to death,
> ...


Wow! Now that is how to do it!

----------


## Gleber2

On Wind.

Soft gentle breezes blow across the sand,
Sweet smelling breaths of swelling oceans fade,
Containing hints of promises not yet made,
Which vocal seabirds bear across the land.
But then the wind mage waves his magic wand'
And sets the trees abending in the glade,
Where howling wind now cuts like shiny blade,
As if the Gods had something evil planned.

But soon the wind will die and sunshine come,
The rolling surf returns to gentle swell,
The trees survive and grow bright green again,
But who can tell me where the wind comes from,
And which magician cast the evil spell,
To summon up, once more, the hurricane.


2003

----------


## Saveman

Great stuff!

----------


## Sporran

> You are both very welcome. Thank you for your kind comments.
> 
> I'd like to see more of your work Sporran and Gleber2......and anyone else who wants to join in.....


Glad to see Gleber2 has added two more sonnets - it's been a while! As for me, I shall have to get my thinking cap on again.....

----------


## Jeemag_USA

I'll have a go, don't laugh its a practice run  ::  

*My Muckle Heid!*

If through my half and weary opened eye,
I see a world that is not nearly round,
Does it mean that I can't even spy,
The other half that has not yet been found.

If through my wide and  over slackened jaw,
I spill out words that make most sense to me,
Where I can speak but say nothing at all,
Should I speak less and say no more to Ye!

Should I take things upon my grizzled chin,
Or turn away and show my other cheek,
If I don't heed the taunter's mucky din,
Will I become the fool and not "the meek"

If through my nose I smell an ill met reek,
Should I retract and hide behind my beak!

----------


## canuck

Jeemag, teacher carries a dark red pencil when he comes to mark our work.  Our assignment on this thread is "sonnets".   I warn you that he is very strick on that issue, so brace yourself because the hurricane is about to blow through.

----------


## Jeemag_USA

> Jeemag, teacher carries a dark red pencil when he comes to mark our work. Our assignment on this thread is "sonnets". I warn you that he is very strick on that issue, so brace yourself because the hurricane is about to blow through.


Good job you said that, I got a chance to correct it before the puff came in  ::

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## Gleber2

> Good job you said that, I got a chance to correct it before the puff came in


Not laughing but will blow the mess down. Teacher. ::

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## Jeemag_USA

> Not laughing but will blow the mess down. Teacher.


Woooaa ha I got caught  ::

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## canuck

> There are several different type of sonnet, the Italian or Petrarchan, Elizabethan or Shakespearian and the Spencerian. In common is the number of lines ie 14. I will explain firstly the Elizabethan which is probably the simplest.
> Fourteen lines arranged in three verses of four and the couplet at the end. The rhyme scheme is AB AB CD CD EF EF GG. The couplet is supposed to be the sting in the tail that can reverse the whole meaning of the poem.
> Each line is Iambic Pentameter which means that it should scan di daa di daa di daa di daa di daa. Five feet.
> 
> Bon Chance!!!!!!!


These are the rules with which we started all those many months ago.

Each line needs five di daas, or 10 beats.  When he comes back with his red pencil he will want to see five di daas per line.  Sorry!   I said he was tough.

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## Jeemag_USA

> These are the rules with which we started all those many months ago.
> 
> Each line needs five di daas, or 10 beats. When he comes back with his red pencil he will want to see five di daas per line. Sorry! I said he was tough.


OK I get it now, I did say it was a practice run, I'll try harder next time  :: 

In lines 1,3 and 2,4 of each of first three verse do they have to ryhme.

This pattern and rythm very much reminds me of Irish Folk singing, very much.

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## Jeemag_USA

2nd Practice Run (read the rules Jeemag)

*Heading West*

I left my soul on yonder craggy shore,
and sailed across the ocean to the new,
to lands o' plenty ne're a man be poor, 
and wilderness is dwelled in by the few.

I made my bed in Midwest's finest town,
Where red born men were cleared from the land,
I staked my claim and threw my bunnet down,
But no soul came and shook me by the hand.

So far away my loved ones are behind,
But I will not forget the love they hold,
For fear they not and they may never mind,
The son that ventured out into the cold.

It is another world you can be sure,
But they can't cage a heart thats ever pure.

*PS I fixed the first one too*

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## canuck

You learned too quickly! You must have known what you were doing.  I sweated this stuff for days to get one to meet with teacher's approval.

Or maybe there is some kind of magical learning gene in people who compose music and write song lyrics.

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## Gleber2

Weel done Cheemack!!!!

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## Jeemag_USA

> You learned too quickly! You must have known what you were doing. I sweated this stuff for days to get one to meet with teacher's approval.
> 
> Or maybe there is some kind of magical learning gene in people who compose music and write song lyrics.


Well it was the very simple di da di da explanation that did it for me. I spent a lot of time in Ireland many years ago, and I spent most of that time in pubs listening to music, and listened to a lot of vocal solos, _sean-nós_ ("in the old style") and the Irish vocal solo and a Sonnet seem very similar but not the same, but it reminded me of the rythm, so if you use two fingers and alternate your tapping on the table almost like the clip clopping of a horse while you shape the words in your head..... bingo  :Smile: 

Or just write a poem the way you like to write it using the shape of a sonnet and then tap it in rythm out to see if it works, if it doesn't go over the lines that don't work and add syllables until they do, thats how I fixed the first one  :Wink:

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## Gleber2

> Well it was the very simple di da di da explanation that did it for me. I spent a lot of time in Ireland many years ago, and I spent most of that time in pubs listening to music, and listened to a lot of vocal solos, _sean-nós_ ("in the old style") and the Irish vocal solo and a Sonnet seem very similar but not the same, but it reminded me of the rythm, so if you use two fingers and alternate your tapping on the table almost like the clip clopping of a horse while you shape the words in your head..... bingo  
> 
> Or just write a poem the way you like to write it using the shape of a sonnet and then tap it in rythm out to see if it works, if it doesn't go over the lines that don't work and add syllables until they do, thats how I fixed the first one


Chings, yur a clever chiel :Grin:

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## Jeemag_USA

Have you recorded any Sonnets Gleber, that would be a very interesting project, it would be nice to hear a song made up of say three vocalised sonnets, and between each sonnet repeat the rythm of the last two lines on say a tin whistle, kind of like a refrain (maybe not right terminology?). I would love to hear that, I am sure you could fill up a CD with the stuff you have written.

One of my very good friends in Ireland, Clare Horgan I know has recorded sonnets, and I will try and get in touch with here and see if she has any available online. She is a great singer, she has a sample of an irish vocal on her website, but its only a short sample and not really in Sonnet style.... http://www.clarehorgan.com/Music/An%...y%20Child).mp3

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## Jeemag_USA

*"The King of Buntings"*

He lights the morning daybreak with his glow,
a ruby red reminder of the year,
as vivid as the sun as it sinks low,
The crimson wings of Cardinal is here.

His faithful wife in varied shades of brown,
She Follows him wherever he must go,
From branch to branch they slowly flutter down,
To stand out clear against the winter snow.

Upon his head a crown of scarlet spears,
A King of Buntings with a regal flair,
His age old song carresses o'er my ears
And adds a trace of beauty to the air.

A Cardinal is beauty to the eye,
The finest thing in red that god made fly.

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## Gleber2

I just discovered, upon perusing this thread that I posted my sonnet "On Love" twice. Please excuse this minor, mental aberration. Surprised that no one made me aware.
Here is another sonnet.

On Youth.

I remember well the days of youth,
The halcyon summer days of time gone by,
A time when everything was seen as truth,
And never seen, the need to utter lies.

I was Dan Dare, John Wayne and Jesse James,
Flash Gordon, Charlie Chaplin and Tom Mix,
I rode the fastest horse upon the range,
And sailed the stars in supersonic ships.

Alas these years are far behind me now,
No more am I the hero or the clown,
The freckled skin replaced by wrinkled brow,
The energy of youth now running down.

Are memories enough as life moves on,
Towards that time when life will be long gone.


2003.

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## Sporran

Brilliant, Gleber2! I fair enjoyed that!  :Smile:  

And like Oliver, I'm asking for more. Keep them coming, please!

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## Saveman

It's been much too long since anyone added anything to this thread......c'mon lets see them sonnets!

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## Moira

Oh my goodness Saveman, I hope you didn't hurt yourself dragging this one all the way back to the top!   :Smile: 

You are right - it's been much too long.  With the long dark nights descending, let's put our Sonnet Caps on - OK who's first?

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## canuck

Now don't hold your breath, but I actually spent 15 minutes finding this thread about 2 weeks ago.   I thought that I might give it a go now that I have a wee bit of 'sitting with foot up' time.   I searched and found that oh so important Elizabethan rhyming scheme, AB AB CD CD EF EF GG.

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## Kenn

Yesterday I stood upon a bridge of wood,
The brown trout lazily did swim beneath,
I wondered how and if with fly I should,
But no would make the quiet water seeth.

I watched the leaves drift down the stream,
In shades of orange,brown and gold,
I soaked up the sun as if in a hyazy dream
And mused upon the past the times of old.

When man was closer to the ancient land,
When nature was his calendar.his clock,
When red the berries  glowed upon the strand,
When the wild was not a laughing stock.

And now all I have is the sight the sound,
That will forever lurk in mind around,



OK I know it's not good but been a while sine I turned my attention to this!

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