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Haggis Heuchs
 by Jenny Stewart

Last week ah hed a rare owld time at Burn's nichts far an near,
Stravaiged till pleysses owld an new, ah've spread ma wings iss year,
Ma first deyte wiz e "Ladies' Circle" - here ah hev till tell,
Ah wizna sure how an'd go doon, so thocht ah'd be masell.

Michtn've worried, creyturs ere, though mostly came fey sooth,
All seemed till get e cracks intended, laughts escaped fey mooth,
Think they got thur money's worth, did six odes on e trot,
Sang twa songs, recited more an gave id all ah'd got.

Fey ere ah's booked for Bilbster Hall an rarin for e off,
A gran crowd eye converges ere, they treyt me lek a toff,
Ma daftest yarns ah can recite, they make me feel at eyse,
An twa'r three songs sung through e nicht is guaranteed till pleyze.

While ere ah heard a renderin o Tam o'Shanter's tale,
A chielie Teyt fey Thirsa end delivered on e nail.
Wi actions, lowped aboot e hall, ye hung on ivry phrase,
Ah nivvur heard e lek o yin, id fair meyde spirits raise.

Throughoot e nicht we's treyted till a song fey cheery chiel,
E manager o "N.E.F.", ah fair enchoyed ye, Beel,
Mackay's dance band laid on for heuch, e floor wiz sorely tried,
All e fowk let hair doon weel an gied homm bleary-eyed.

At's Friday done an twa "do's" doon wi wan for Setturday,
Direction cheynged till ithur airt, ah's heydin oot till Mey,
Ah hedna been oot ere afore, boot thocht ah'd chance ma luck,
Till fin a hommly, freendly crowd, ah'm gled ah broke ma duck.!

Bob an Ina oot fey Week wi band till entertain,
A chiel ca'd David played e pipes, ah'd listen ower again,
No doot, quite a lively "do", too soon e nicht wiz done,
Weel, scheduled "do" at any rate, we didna end wur fun.

An invitation for some tea till pleyss abeen e coast,
A beeg-lek hoose doon tree-lined drive, ah divna lek till boast,
Boot H.R.H.H. sign ah now, afore ye say ah'm blowin,
Id's H.R.H.'s hoosekeepers - ah bet at keept ye goin.

So Robbie's season's ver near ower, wan bookin till fulfil,
In "Backer" for anithur dose of haggis an half-chill,
Ah've fair been in ma element wi rhyme an song an dance,
Ah'll do anithur roond nixt year, at's if ah get e chance.