Ah thocht ah'd chance owld favourite route, till Haster for a start,
Negotiated brey up through'd, though lowngs near came apart,
Keept goin, grindin pedals roond, e sweyt wid do me good,
An pit till use e residue o winter's stodgy food.

Choost fled ower Tannach lookin roond, forgot iss world o strife,
Steeped in spring-lek rustic charm an thinkin "Iss is life,"
E smell o earth an snowdrops bloomin, whins in bud in ditch,
At Thrumster kirk afore ah kent id, traivelled 'thoot a hitch.

Ah micht hev kent id gied too weel, still pedallin in dreyme,
A peedy dowg lowped for e bike, ah let oot hellish screyme,
A terrier or some-such thing, no twa feet off e grun,
He snapped at Chenny's clapped oot bike an broke intil a run.

He mosst hev been brocht up 'mongst whuppids, ran choost lek e win,
Still snappin at ma-hoochers ankles, wish ye'd heard e din,
Ma knees wiz goin lek turbine engines, burnin holls in tar,
Ah wished he'd gie ma bike a break an go an cheyse a car.

In heyste ah overtook a tactor, passed lek flash o licht,
On video ah wished ah'd been, id mosst hev been some sicht,
Oot-peysin chiel wi lodd o downg, ah'd darena slow bike doon,
Cause rover's still in hot pursuit fanivvur ah looked roon.

A gret beeg wall flummoxed um though, sma leygies couldna lowp,
Ah's fit till drop wi sheer relief, boot ferd e bike wid cowp,
So if ye's traivellin on e rodd an saw a U.F.O.
Id wiz me en Rover threshin oot till see how hard ah'd go.